No Complaints #35: Engineers, Emotions and That Epilogue

Ever have a week where you simultaneously feel so busy that your feet have barely touched the ground yet so weighed down by all the things you haven’t done yet it’s like you’re wearing one of those ancient metal diving suits? Well, that. Also: the podcast is back from its summer hiatus, so if you’ve always wanted to hear my thoughts on cinema-weeping, this is your chance.

Things to read

“The best shipwreck songs could double as formal incident reports. At minimum, every shipwreck song must mention the exact date of the wreck, as well as the time of day, a rough time line of the incident, and the number of men and women who died. The men and women must all be referred to as ‘souls’.”

A comprehensive guide to how to write your own shipwreck song. Email to Pocket.



“I hated, HATED, HATED this neat circle ending with them being all married and kids. YES TO THE WHOLE ‘MOVE INTO THE FLAT’ IDEA. YES to a still uncertain but hopeful, hopeful future. Because you’re all right – Voldemort’s Death Eaters and the whole Pureblood/Mudblood debacle was just a symptom of a greater disease. I wanted Harry and company to be the generation that said, ‘STOP. ENOUGH. We are going to FIX THIS.’. Every generation has wanted to do this and we have been failing, because we’re being conditioned to aim for ‘be just like your parents’. But shouldn’t this have been the story wherein we are being told that Harry and company will do more?

People are still having excellent conversations about what was wrong with that epilogue to the Harry Potter series. Email to Pocket.



The Hunger didn’t tell me the whole bleak truth, but neither did Deneuve to Bowie. It’s a movie about broken promises and lies and old lovers and the coffins you make for them before you crawl into your own, and if you’re in a certain mood and have a certain blood alcohol level, you could probably say it’s a metaphor for something – for your own failed relationships and the people you’ve put in a mental box to forget.”

Tony Scott’s The Hunger lied to a teenage Hayley Campbell, and she’s still cross about it. Email to Pocket.



“The worst floors were the ones dominated by engineers. I regularly saw people bring their laptops into the bathroom, where they would sit on the toilet and write code. (I’ve never seen anyone clean their laptop after leaving the bathroom.) Engineers would talk to each other through stalls. On many occasions, I heard people take phone calls while mid-business. It was hard to tell if someone was groaning because it was difficult to code or difficult to poop. Another Amazon colleague once joked that this gave new meaning to the word ‘deploy’.”

No, men who work at Amazon. Just no. Email to Pocket.



“As Faber alludes to, Reddit is just one of the many web communities that is notoriously hostile to women. Makeup Alley's boards are steeped in the kind of obsessive devotion stereotypically associated with male-dominated online spaces like Reddit, with users fervently posting about lipstick the way their counterparts do about gaming or gadgets; Makeup Alley even has its own trolls. In this way, it's a far more revolutionary site than it gets credit for. Why should the merits of the Clarisonic brush be taken any less seriously than rumours about new Apple products?”

The internet is undendingly weird and special, pt 94. Email to Pocket.


Things to listen to

This week, it’s a “podcasts I have listened to recently about slightly gross things” special:

1. A Funeral Director’s Dead Reckoning / Death, Sex and Money

2. The Secret, Gruesome Internet For Doctors / Reply All

3. Pearl Bryan / Criminal

4. XXX Parents, Networking and Bad Blood / Answer Me This

5. The Black Death / In Our Time

(Maybe not for while you’re eating, fyi.)

Things to watch

London to Brighton in 4 minutes.

Josh Groban Sings Donald Trump Tweets.

The real Arthur Conan Doyle, actually on your screen.

Compulsory medieval thingamabob

Dream house.

The guest gif

Wait, where am I?

THE END. See you next time*!
*Next time will probably be next Friday. If you want to suggest things I should include in the next one of these, please do reply and send me links.