No Complaints #56: Purebloods, Punctuation and Pitt

So apparently, this isn’t a newsletter, it’s a zine. Good to know.

Things to read

“Of the top 100 leading men in Hollywood, 20 have never worked on a single film with a female director. Actors include: Ben Stiller, Matt Damon, Jonah Hill, Dwayne Johnson, Orlando Bloom, Tobey Maguire, Vin Diesel, and Chris Hemsworth. Of the top 100 leading men in Hollywood, 21 have worked with a female director once. Among those, Brad Pitt has only acted in his wife Angelina Jolie's By the Sea. Will Smith and Hugh Jackman have only done animated voices in Shark Tale and Happy Feet, respectively, which featured female co-directors.”

To get the full glory of this, you really need to click through and look at the graphics. For here, let’s just give an especially slow hand-clap to Brad Pitt for managing, in a career spanning decades, only to be directed by a woman he’s married to. Happy Oscars season, one and all. Email to Pocket.

 

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“What kind of woman steals the happiness of another woman, as if we are not all sisters? And what kind of woman voluntarily puts two spaces after closing punctuation? The answers to those questions are ‘a bad woman’ and ‘a bad woman whose spacebar is apparently rigged up to a money machine that pays her cash every time she hits it,’ respectively.”

I have long been of the belief that anyone who puts two spaces after a full stop needs a) gently telling they are not using a typewriter any more and then b) murdering. Email to Pocket.

 

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“Hair in dishevelled curls, divided in front of the forehead, and ornamented with clusters of small variegated flowers; a large transparent Mechlin veil, thrown occasionally over the head, shading the bosom in front, and falling in graceful drapery beneath.”

A hairstyle for every Regency occasion. Email to Pocket.

 

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“Tried insisting that the logistics of the stairwell system is actually costing the school time and money, but the professors all agree that having magic moving stairs somehow improves the school’s aesthetic or something. I honestly think they just don’t know how to actually turn them off.”

I adore this blog, written from the perspective of a muggle IT guy at Hogwarts. This entry about how purebloods behave to muggles once they know who controls the access to smartphones also made me laugh for ages. Email to Pocket.

 

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“Contemporary teen movies mirror that kind of economically “safe” world – like Kim Kardashian’s – because that’s what the movie industry thinks teens expect to see. The average reality show is equipped with the same beige interior, pool with a waterfall out back, Lam or Bentley in the driveway and Bachelor-esque McMansion. Like a Kubrick film or an old Marlboro Red commercial, reality show producers, with their subliminal messaging, engineered a decorating standard: our life is supposed to look like this.

A persuasive thesis on why teen movies are getting more and more middle class. Email to Pocket.
 

Things to listen to

I was excited to find SleepTalker initially just because it’s a podcast that is not from America. When you are not from America and you do podcasts, it’s quite easy to feel like you are adrift in an audio world not of your making. So it was nice to be reminded that there are other non-Americans out there. Subject-wise, it’s not that dissimilar to Nocturne (as recommended in NC#31) – sleep, dreams, thoughts at night. What has kept me listening, though, is the fact that the makers of SleepTalker are trying interesting things with their format: their use of music is pretty good, as is the shifting between fiction and non-fiction. Now that I’m learning to edit myself (my first attempt is in this SRSLY episode, see if you can tell which bit), I’m also becoming very appreciative of brevity. Everything can always be shorter.

 

Things to watch

Sometimes It Pours.

On the Via Dolorosa.

I still miss Alan.
 

Compulsory medieval thingamabob

Oi, that hurts.


 

The guest gif

It’s been days and I’m still blown away by this every time.
THE END. See you next time*!
*Next time will probably be next Friday. If you want to suggest things I should include in the next one of these, please do reply and send me links.